


For You -- Never too Long

by Chegaris



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Little bit of Fluff, M/M, Mild Language, dad! minhyun, if you squint hard minor! kang daniel/yoon jisung, kid! bae jin young, kid! daehwi, minor! bae jin young/lee dae hwi, minor! ha sungwoon/kim jaehwan, past! hwang minhyun/kim jonghyun, rated for mild cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 08:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13854018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chegaris/pseuds/Chegaris
Summary: Minhyun is a single dad who devotes his life to take care of his son and lives in the past.Seongwoo decides he is content enough staying by his side.Or not?





	For You -- Never too Long

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [climb aboard, explorers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13435956) by [inmylife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmylife/pseuds/inmylife). 



> This fic is inspired by a minhwan fic Climb Aboard, Explorers by inmylife which is inspired by Finding Nemo. ;)  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13435956)  
> \-- it is a beautiful fic and i hope i do enough justice to not ruin its beauty with this one. Inmylife-ssi thank you so much for letting me explore the idea :) 
> 
> It is my first time writing fic after so long. Onghwang tags are blessed with really damn talented writers and I hesitated a lot whether to post this fic or not. Well, I choose to post it and hope that it will at least help to fill our love for onghwang tags. :D

\--

“Minhyun hyung! How come the update has even more bugs than before?!” screams Woojin from his seat while the said hyung continues to furiously type on his computer, oblivious to his mistake and misery wails from his coworker. 

Seongwoo sighs. To some people Minhyun might look like someone who is totally absorbed in his works right now, but Seongwoo knows better. From the stiffs on his shoulders to the crease on his forehead, Seongwoo knows Minhyun is not even here. He wonders why he lets Minhyun works today when he knows exactly that the other wont be able to focus. Vaguely remembering how Minhyun didn’t even care about the mess he created when preparing Jinyoung’s stuff this morning, the neat addict will probably freak out later after his worry subdued, Seongwoo thinks that it better for his sanity as well to at least keep Minhyun on his sight. He might ends up worry for the latter anyway should he have let Minhyun off work today. 

 

Out of nowhere Jaehwan pops beside Minhyun with popsicles in his mouth. Casually he pushes the button to shut Minhyun’s laptop down, not caring the slightest of the sudden horror squeals from the older male.

“Jaehwan! I haven’t saved it yet,”

“Hyuuungg it’s only been an hour since you left Jinyoung at school yet you almost ruin half of our program,” scolds Jaehwan, “Jinyoung will get along fine, hyung. After all he learns his social skills from me!” adds Jaehwan while patting the now scowling Minhyun as the younger mentions the source of his trouble.

Minhyun realizes that some parts of the coding that he furiously type before might include the only sentence he keeps repeating since early this morning, or the week before but he won’t admit it, ' _Baejin is okay, Baejin is okay, Baejin is okay'_  so yeah probably what Jaehwan said about ruining their program is not exaggerating after all.

Still, it is his baby first day of school. How can he not worry? After all the darkness that engulfed Minhyun during that incident, Jinyoung is his only light. Taking care of Jinyoung has been the sole reason of his existence. If not for his, their, baby, he believes that it wouldn’t take long for Minhyun to follow  _him_.

While Jaehwan is indeed right that despite being shy in front of new people,  _probably a trait coming from him *coughs*,_  Jinyoung always has a way to sneak into people’s heart. That is how he has many of his samchons wrap around his fingers, especially the one named Ong Seongwoo who will practically gives him anything whenever Jinyoung starts his ‘hug and pout’ move. Minhyun often complains that Seongwoo is ruining his son, but those two always conspire against him in the end. Well, that might be out of the topic, but to sum it up, his baby with his radiant smile and way too mature for his age attitude is perfect,  _if only.._

“You know he is.. _different_ Jaehwan” sighs Minhyun softly, bitting his lower lips and trying not to cry over the fate the he should have long accepted.

 

Seongwoo has watched their interaction since the beginning, instead he will be the one who shut Minhyun’s laptop down if Jaehwan is not there. Now, he can only sigh knowing that there is nothing he can do to ease Minhyun’s pain, not even the fact that he is fully loaded and won’t even think twice to spend all of his money if that mean little Jinyoung can have his leg back.

‘So much for trying to work today’

“Minhyun let’s scram! Remember we need to meet Tanaka-san today” shouts Seongwoo while packing up.

The one being mentioned looks at him confusedly, he throws a glance on his calendar which of course clean as he are not one with job to take care of investors and such. Minhyun is the guy behind their apps not in front like Seongwoo, Jisung, or Sungwoon are.

“Seongwoo I swear if you’re trying to sneak out a date during office hour again I…..,” shouts Sungwoon from his cubicle, which was abruptly silenced by none other than mother Jisung.

“Go you guys. Minhyun needs fresh air anyway,” shoos him to the two of them.

Minhyun looks hesitant, but Seongwoo has started to pull him out of the office. From afar he can hear Sungwoon whines, ‘but I just talked to Tanaka-san he’s in freaking Japan!’

—

Outside, Seongwoo leads them to the park near their office. Located between office towers, the park is neither big in size or exceptionally beautiful. However, Seongwoo knows Minhyun’s tendency to wander aimlessly when he is stressed out and the park has enough trees to shelter them from the blasting August sun. Like that they walk slowly amidst the crowd of workers who are rushing to cut their way through whatever destination they are headed next.

Spotting Minhyun’s favorite bubble tea stand up front he casually jogs to the stall leaving Minhyun to his own world. After buying the infamous strawberry flavor that Minhyun loves so much, Seongwoo’s feet almost automatically brings him to the chair a little bit secluded on the back of the park. Once it’s almost scared him how he just knows where to find Minhyun. The older boy has asked him about it too, while being furious on another failed hiding attempt when he was pissed at the younger. Honestly, Seongwoo himself doesn’t know why exactly, but of course he has a guess. Probably just probably, it’s because he has been watching Minhyun for too long to know what’s going inside the boy head better than he understands his own. 12 fucking years of watching for god sake. 

Yet he knows he can’t, won’t be able to stop anyway.

He nudges the cold drink towards Minhyun’s cheek, startling the older boy of the cold sensation, “Really Seongwoo?” asks him in an exasperated sigh, but still digs in through the sweet treat right away.

“You know,” Seongwoo starts after a moment of comfortable silence, “I think Baejin is currently nagging at his friend to finish up their broccoli,” Seongwoo scrunches his nose, remembering how the little kid will always remember to nag him about it should Minhyun forgets.

For the first time that day, Seongwoo hears Minhyun’s laugh, “Or nagging them to put the dirty plates back in the place?” teases Minhyun. 

It’s Seongwoo’s turn to laugh, “that too and also to thoroughly wash your hand before you touch other stuff, samchon,” he chirps imitating the little kid.

Minhyun laughs louder, head thrown to the sky, eyes creasing shut, and hair falling on the side — images of Minhyun that is always well embedded in Seongwoo head, like scene in a movie that he like.

In a perfect world, it will be his cue to hold the older neck and kiss him hard. There, right there on the chair a little secluded on the back of the park. Instead, he joins the laugh, “The kid is practically a mini version of you. I don’t know what I did in my previous life that I get to live around two Minhyuns,” whines him.

_He probably had saved a country for life kindly let him live with his two Minhyuns._

—

Later in the afternoon, Minhyun has visibly become more relax as they wait for Jinyoung in front of his school. Due to Jinyoung’s condition, Minhyun had the kid to skip kindergarten and home-schooled him around their office. However, the kid has been curious. He has made some friends on the park that told him wonders about school. He even gets jealous over other kids that are being called home to finish their homework. So, that’s why he begs/whines/pouts and ultimately uses Seongwoo to influence his dad’s firm decision.

To Minhyun’s ultimate dismay, most of his friends are taking side on, again, Seongwoo and Jinyoung’s conspiration. Thus, leaving him reluctantly agree to this public school thing for Jinyoung. But in any way, can he really tell his son the real reason why he doesn’t want to let his baby out is because of the fact that he is different? When he himself riled his son to think that he is no different than any other kids with fully healthy legs. Minhyun is not ashamed of his son and really, he thinks that nothing is wrong with son. But he is no naive, he knows that the world they live in is not as nice as the media tries to potray. So, if the only way to keep Jinyoung’s radiating smile is to shield him from prying eyes of the world, heck Minhyun will.

“See! You worry too much, Minhyun-ah” exclaims Seongwoo a little bit too excitedly as he sees Jinyoung animatedly talks with some kids his age. It is a secret, and Minhyun might notice too if the smirk he sends Seongwoo means what it means, but Seongwoo is actually as nervous as Minhyun for Jinyoung’s first day. However, unlike Minhyun he knows that he can’t always protect Jinyoung from the world even if he would willingly do so. So, he can only pray to any God in existence to at least let Jinyoung always has enough good memories to hold whenever he has to pass through the bad one.

Upon seeing his dad and his favorite, according to Seongwoo, samchon on the school gate, Jinyoung looks even happier as he waves goodbye to his new friends and hurriedly limping his way towards them. He falls right onto Minhyun’s hugs as his dad tries to smoother him with light pecks. He hurriedly distances himself on this,  _‘not here dad?!’_  shrieks him in horror.

—

Their dinner goes by a usual ritual. Minhyun cannot cook to save himself despite his appearance. He had tried for Jinyoung’s sake of course, but even Jinyoung didn’t want to touch his food. The kid was only 2 then. So, they develop this routine where Seongwoo, who would prefer to eat ramyeon in his apartment but can actually cook, will come by to cook for their dinner and sometimes breakfast.

Minhyun usually prepares the ingredient, while Seongwoo cooks, and Jinyoung cleans afterward, because he is not big enough to handle the knife like daddy does. But unlike his samchon, Jinyoung likes cleaning, so he doesn’t really mind the arrangement after all.

While waiting for their food, Jinyoung sits on one of the bar stool, crutches lying forgotten, and chats animatedly about his days at school, about his newly acquired friends, his teachers, and the lesson — which he think was boring because daddy has taught me that. To the kid utmost disappointment, they didn’t get any homework on first day of school. In which Seongwoo laughs heartily and assures that soon he will get so many till he wishes it can all disappear.

In the middle of Jinyoung’s story, Minhyun loses count how many times he has shared an amused/relieved look with Seongwoo. He doesn’t know whether he can get a grip of himself if Seongwoo wasn’t there with him. Probably sending Jinyoung to school is not a bad idea after all. Later he will tell Seongwoo just that, and imagine his well-i-knew-it smirks creeps up again. But for this very reason, Minhyun will bear with it - though he won’t tell Seongwoo that.

Minhyun really does not know what has started it, but somewhere through the story where Jinyoung describe his schools’ waterpark that he really can’t wait to try, Seongwoo decides to be Seongwoo and starts sprinkling water towards him. ‘Do you mean the water would go like this?’ Minhyun hears him say. Jinyoung with his ever so competitive spirit takes some water from the bowls where Minhyun soaks their vegetables and launches his counter attack. ‘No Samchon it will go this big’ he squeals. Then, the kitchen becomes a whole mess of water sprinkling games which erupts so much laughters.

Later when they are drying the damp body, Jinyoung starts recounting how Guanlin, their neighbor slash Jinyoung’s best friend, has this big of a water gun that can shoot 3 people at once and  _how lucky he is if he can get something like that as well, right Ong Samchon?_

Minhyun is all too aware of this routine and cannot believe Ongchongie, the founder of Wanna One Inc., that current top mobile games company in South Korea, still can be tricked into the scam  _every. single. time_.

It all begin with a story, then the humility, ‘ _how lucky I am if I get that but no I don’t really need it, we’d better save money for some books, right daddy?’_  After that the sudden clinginess will come, all hugs and kisses, just before the final blow of downward neglected puppy pout of  _‘it will be nice to have one though_ ’. It differs every time, but the fastest time Ongchongie gives in has been after the hugs.

So right when Jinyoung is about to go to his hug rampage, he stops his kid ,”Jinyoung what did I say about troubling other people?”

Minhyun doesn’t realize how Seongwoo flinches at his word  _— other people, really?_

Jinyoung goes with a nice  _yes daddy_ , but when Minhyun turns around he is basically giving Seongwoo all the long distance hugs and pecks that has melted Seongwoo’s heart even more. Minhyun knows it’s a lost case when he turns around to find Seongwoo and Jinyoung share a knowing smile. He sure his baby is too mischievous for age sometimes. He really should have stopped 2park from hanging with Jinyoung too much.

—

Minhyun nags a little bit more than usual on the ride to Jinyoung’s school on the next day. It is a good progress though compared to silent Minhyun the other day.

Seongwoo lets Minhyun be until he realizes that the nag starts to go too broad. After a quick glance towards flinching Jinyoung through the rearview, he absently reaches for Minhyun’s hand and gives it a little squeeze. It’s been their code whenever one of them think they’ve been too over with Jinyoung. Minhyun seems to notice too as he lets out a big sigh.

Seongwoo lets his hand holds Minhyun a little bit longer than usual. As a gesture of support he convinces himself. But Minhyun lets him anyway, so they end up holding hand all through the way to Jinyoung’s school.

Said boy can’t hide his smiling face at the sight of his daddy and samchon intertwining hands resting near the gear —  _just like Guanlin’s parent did_.

They arrive at Jinyoung’s school way too early, obviously due to Minhyun’s nags. The little kid decides that he wants to play in the playground first as barely any students have arrived in the building. He has Seongwoo lifts him up to the monkey bars and soon he moves his way around in a lightning speed. Minhyun stands on the side holding Jinyoung’s crutches while watching both of them.

“Hi! I believe that you must be Jinyoung’s dad. My name is Leeteuk and I’ll be Jinyoung’s homeroom teacher this year,” suddenly Minhyun finds a young man not too much older than himself greeting him with a cheerful smile.

“Ah Songsaengnim nice to meet you,” he gives a him a polite nods. Quickly he tries to refresh his mind of Jinyoung’s story the other night. ‘My teacher talks a lot, but he is cool’ is all he can remember. Jinyoung hardly uses the term cool to someone he just met, it must means that the teacher has treated him well.

Deeming it safe, Minhyun curiously continues the conversation, “How is Jinyoung’s at class? Honestly I am a bit worry that other students won’t be able to accept his emm.. condition too well,”

 

Leeteuk waves him off with a laughs, “If I were to be honest, I am a bit worried too when I first read Jinyoung’s profile. You don’t have to worry though, he might start off a little shy but he has a sort of confidence that charms lots of his friends. I notice that he answers questions about his legs cheerfully, so that won’t be a problem. You and your husband have really raised him well,”

_Husband?_ His only husband has left him long before so Minhyun doesn’t really get who’s Leeteuk is referring to until he catches a sight of Seongwoo carefully aiding Jinyoung’s around the playgroud. He is about to deny the allegation, but the Leeteuk guy sure talks a lot! In the end, he doesn’t get a chance to correct the wrong assumption.

When both students and parents start to make their way to the school, Leeteuk excuses himself to go chat with another parent. Turning his head, Minhyun finds Jinyoung’s friends have joined the playground with Seongwoo busily caters the need of 4 kids around him.

_‘Woaa looks at that! Which one do you think is his child?’_

_‘He’s really handsome’_

_‘He looks so young. Probably he only drops his nephew’_

_‘Do you think he’ll give his number if I go for it’_

_‘Hush! He might have a husband already’_

Minhyun is familiar with these kind of whispers since college. He should get used to it by now, but he never been able to remove the queasy feeling every time he hears other people ogles at Seongwoo _that_ way.

“Seongwoo! Let’s go we’ll be late,” calls him loud enough for Seongwoo to hear.

The guy currently has two little kids dangling on his hands while he makes a spin — the kids, one of them being Jinyoung of course, laughs heartily while screaming for more. Upon hearing Minhyun’s voices though, Seongwoo slows down and places the whining kids back down carefully.

When Seongwoo is saying his goodbye, one of the kid abruptly tugs at his legs to prevent him from going. Soon, the other three kids join the act and Seongwoo finds himself trapped in the tug war. Having no way out of the current condition, helplessly he throws Minhyun his sheepish smile that never fails to warm the taller’s heart. Apparently it does wonders too for the mommies (and even some of the passing dad) who almost scream behind them. Minhyun is curious whether Seongwoo knows the effect he has on other people.

 

_‘That’s his husband?!’_

_‘OMG what a couple!!!’_

_‘Their kid must be awesome’_

 

Again, people think Seongwoo and Minhyun are a couple. If Minhyun thinks about it, lately they have been getting that remarks more often. Given their current place at Jinyoung’s school, it is normal to mistake them as a couple, but this has been going on everywhere. Last week, the restaurant’s owner that they frequent for lunch has asked why his boyfriend doesn’t come with him. He usually eats there with the whole squad so it takes him awhile to realize that the owner is referring to Seongwoo. Then, the neighboring grandma also asked why he doesn’t live in the same apartment unit as his husband. Come to think about it, the kid who delivers their newspaper to the office also had some ambiguous remarks about it, and the supermarket guy too, well the office’s cleaning lady definitely thinks so, also his friend from middle school whom he rarely meets, and the list goes on.

They might have hold hands on several occasion and their skinship is probably a little bit excessive, but hey Minhyun has been known for his skinship after all. If we compares things, he might have done skinship more excessively with Woojin or Jaehwan. Yet, he hardly hears people think he is in a relationship with any of the boys.

—

Minhyun gets lots of eye roll when he asks whether his friends also think that Seongwoo and him look like a couple.

“Don’t make me choke on my food, hyung” wails Woojin.

It is during their lunch hour with only 2park and Jaehwan at the office. Seongwoo, Jisung and Sungwoon has gone somewhere to discuss potential strategic partnership.

“But why? I do lots of skinship with you guys too. Why do you only think of Seongwoo and I as a couple? Is it because of our age?” asks Minhyun curiously.

“Don’t you realize it yet, hyung? You look like.. ouch!” Jaehwan scowls as he feels a harsh kick on his leg that almost tumble his jjangmyeon as well.

“It’s probably because of your age, hyung. You know you’re the closest to Seongwoo hyung anyway,” chirps Jihoon with his innocent face while signaling Jaehwan and Woojin to shut up.

 

Later when Minhyun leaves the pantry to resume his work that has piled up as he leaves office abruptly yesterday, Jaehwan and Woojin interrogates Jihoon excessively.

“It’s about time for us to make Minhyun-hyung realize his feeling, no? I am tired of how they’re practically living as a married couple but saying that there’s nothing to it,” starts Woojin.

“For Seongwoo-hyung’s sanity as well. I don’t know how the guy can put up with it. Minhyun-hyung might be perfect in everything, but his oblivion is too much even for me,” continues Jaehwan.

“Jonghyun-hyung death anniversary is in a week you know. I don’t think it’s the right time to make Minhyun-hyung realize his undying love for Seongwoo-hyung. You know how he still can’t accept hyung’s death. I am afraid that he’ll fell guilty and it will end up like the drama during our sophomore days,” explains Jihoon.

 

It has been more than 10 years but the drama is still fresh in their mind. Jihoon was a sophomore while Minhyun and Seongwoo were seniors. Couple of months before their graduation Minhyun decided to avoid Seongwoo. They met during freshman orientation and had been best bud ever since. Even though Minhyun was technically dating Jonghyun, being the high school sweetheart they were, but Jihoon swears he saw more Seongwoo than Jonghyun when he spent time with Minhyun.

Jihoon, or anyone in this matter, doesn’t really know the exact cause, but he bet that it has something to do with then faltering Minhyun-Jonghyun relationship. As the result, Jihoon never sees the ever optimistic and cheerful Seongwoo crumbles as bad as that during the whole time he knows the older. He practically lived like a lost puppy wandering around the spot where he usually hangs with Minhyun for several weeks. He wouldn’t eat and only sleep when his body had given up. Jihoon doesn’t even have to mention his grade, does he? If they didn’t settle it sooner, he seriously doubt Seongwoo will be able to graduate on time.

Since the day he met Hwang Minhyun Jihoon only has adoration and admiration for his hyung. He can’t be more proud of being one of Minhyun’s kids as they dub it in college, but he still think that Minhyun had been unfair to Seongwoo at that time. The older had only started to amend their relationship after a crushing news of his engagement with Jonghyun. Jihoon could still remember the look on Seongwoo’s face when Daniel-hyung delivered the news. In the end the pitiful man only let out a sad chuckle, “ _I know what I’m getting on when I realized I’m in love with Minhyun. His heart has only been for Jjong’s after all. I am happy if he is..,”_

The younger can only hope that the couple will finally get a happy ending that they deserve.

—

Seongwoo is losing Minhyun. He always loses Minhyun at this time of year, every single time for 6 years. Nearing Jonghyun’s death anniversary, the taller barely eats anything. Seongwoo doubts he even get a single sleep these days. Minhyun is there with Jinyoung and Seongwoo, but he isn’t there.

Given how Minhyun has neglected to take care of his body and the current unsupportive weather, he is down with mild fever on the day of the anniversary. Seongwoo frowns furiously at the latter who throws long series of cough while packing up for the day. Jonghyun’s cemetery was on the outskirt of the town so it can take up to two hours drive to reach. There is no way he will let Minhyun take public transportation in that condition.

He makes a quick call to Sungwoon to inform his absence from office only to receive puzzling looks from Minhyun.

“Are you going to come with us, Samchon?” squeals Jinyoung happily while munching his breakfast.

“You don’t really need to Seongwoo-ah *cough cough*. It’s too far. I know *cough* you have lots of things on hand,” says Minhyun worriedly.

“You can’t even finish a sentence without coughing,” Seongwoo rolls his eyes, “Let’s go,”

“Daebak! Daebak! Daebak! We never goes to Appa’s together, right? Do you know there’s a delicious fried chicken place near there? Do you think we can go there before we head back later?” Jinyoung excitedly follows Seongwoo.

Times like this remind Seongwoo of how innocent Jinyoung can really be. Probably because he never has a chance to meet Jonghyun, the little kid seems to forget the fact that they aren’t actually going for a little getaway. While Seongwoo isn’t entirely sad about it, but he still has this remorse feeling sitting on his stomach. Jonghyun might be his rival (or probably they aren’t rival at all since Jonghyun had Minhyun from the start), but he was a friend first. He can still remember the late night parties and those college days they had together. No matter what happened along the way, Seongwoo is fond of his friend.

—

Jinyoung never likes this time of the year. When he was younger, he can’t understand why there are times that he can’t reach his daddy at all. Later when he grows up, he learns that daddy only does that when it’s nearing Appa death’s anniversary. Just like Guanlin has two dads, apparently Jinyoung supposed to have two dads as well. He is sad to learn that Appa has gone to heaven, but he still can’t understand why his daddy seems so miserable about it. Jinyoung is okay living with one dad. Well, he might have secretly ask for one more, specifically in the name of a certain Ong Samchon. But, if that doesn’t happen, he really is okay. He likes living with his Dad.

Another thing that Jinyoung doesn’t like is to see his daddy sad. It always happens whenever they are at Appa’s. They will sit for a long time, sometimes Daddy will sing a very sad song, another time he will tell story to Appa, but in the end daddy will always cry. A lot. Jinyoung doesn’t know what to do then. He has tried to cheer him in every single way possible but his daddy won’t stop crying. Jinyoung hates to feel so useless while daddy can always make him smile no matter how sad Jinyoung is.

That is why he is so excited to have Seongwoo Samchon with them this time. Samchon can always make Jinyoung and daddy laughs. This visit won’t be as bad Jinyoung thinks.

—

Watching Minhyun tends to Jonghyun’s grave as he strokes the tomb ever so gently, visible tears running on his cheeks hurts Seongwoo more than he expects. The love in Minhyun’s gestures makes him feels like he has been slapped awake from his sweet dream. After all this time apparently nothing has changed. Jonghyun is still Minhyun’s number 1.

Jinyoung is sitting in his daddy’s laps near the tomb. Daddy tells appa how Jinyoung has started elementary and how great he is at school. Like usual, Daddy rambles too much and Jinyoung starts to lose focus so he throws a glance to the back where he finds Seongwoo Samchon’s depressing look. He never sees his Samchon looks that sad, so he gets out from daddy’s laps and scrambles his way to Seongwoo.

Minhyun startles by the sudden action and looks up to see Seongwoo who welcomes Jinyoung on his arms and opts to pick the not so little boy who’s trying to snuggle to him. Seongwoo asks the kid whether he is tired which Jinyoung replies by snuggling even closer to Seongwoo’s chest. The latter lets the kid be while absentmindedly runs his finger through his back the way he knows Jinyoung’s like to be comforted. The image creates a warm feeling in Minhyun’s chest. It seems like a picture of a perfect — _family..._

_“Now our little family is complete, Minhyun-ah” Jonghyun smiles warmly while coo-ing the little baby in Minhyun’s arms._

_Jonghyun._

The real closest thing he ever had as a family.

—

“You takes Jinyoung away from Jonghyun,” mutters Minhyun darkly after they tuck Jinyoung to sleep.

“Wait what?” asks Seongwoo, feeling surprise with the sudden accuse.

He has realized the decrease in Minhyun’s mood on the way back from cemetery. He notices how Minhyun seems to flinch at his pat or how the latter seems to avoid his gaze. Seongwoo regards it as a usual thing after a visit to cemetery. But this..

“Because of you, Jinyoung doesn’t care of his appa. You divert his attention! Jonghyun doesn’t deserve this! Jinyoung is Jonghyun’s son Seongwoo! You cannot take him away from his appa!,” shrieks Minhyun.

Seongwoo knows that Minhyun and Jinyoung are Jonghyun’s. He knows that the two people whom he loves the most are not his. He always knows, but hearing that from Minhyun’s mouth is definitely the hardest.

“I’m not trying to take Jinyoung from anyone Minhyun you yourself know that,” replies him tensely.

“You spoils him with gifts he doesn’t need. You take his attention away when he’s with his appa!”

“What the—“

“You always makes sure to be on his mind, you take any chances Jonghyun has to be close with Jinyoung, you make Jinyoung forgets about him, how can he forget about his appa?!” Minhyun knows his words are starting to blur into nonsense but he can’t stop. Jonghyun is his only family. Jonghyun is the only one who has rights to take care of them. No one can replace him. _No one._

Seongwoo feels his heart clenches with a familiarity that he almost forgets. Memories that he doesn’t want to recall come flooding back without knocking. Minhyun in Jonghyun’s arms. Their intertwined hand. Minhyun swept Jonghyun’s bangs affectionately.Their study session which contained more flirting than actual study. Their wedding vow. Through all that Seongwoo can only watch bitterly from the side. After all this time it is always about: _Jonghyun._

“You ask me to compete with a ghost Minhyun,” he continues tiredly, “That’s not fair,” and with that Seongwoo leaves.

Little did those adults know that the debated kid has been crying silently in his blanket.

—

6 years ago, it was on windy day like this. Seongwoo thoughts darkly while walking aimlessly around his apartment complex. There was a light rain too. He was at the office with the others, working late to develop their apps. Their office was nothing like what they have now, it was basically a small apartment that Seongwoo has rented. Minhyun wasn’t there as he was going on a vacation with Jonghyun and their baby.

When the telephone first rings, everyone is busy ordering the other person to pick it up. It went for awhile until Woojin who lost on a rock-paper-scissor game to Jihoon begrudgingly picked up the phone. They thought it was a usual marketing call until an audible sobs escaped Woojin’s mouth. The younger was definitely not a crier. So it alarmed all of his hyung as they started to circle him.

Seongwoo remembers seeing how Woojin’s hands trembled while writing down an address he was not familiar with, some kind of hospital it said. Seongwoo didn’t think too much about it until the name Minhyun got scrambled too. Putting pieces together, he could feel his heart almost burst from his cage. He frantically asked Woojin for explanation.

There was an accident. Minhyun-hyung was in an accident. A truck has slipped and crushed his car. Woojin’s voice has faded from there. Seongwoo could only hear his world shattered down slowly.

When the doctor told him that Minhyun would be okay aside from a broken arm and several wounds, Seongwoo gave thank to any Gods he remembered. The joy he felt was irreplaceable, even with the news of Jonghyun’s passing. People around him cried and wailed, but he could only feel relieved, relieved that it was not Minhyun who lied on that bed, unmoving. Even later when he accompanied Minhyun during Jonghyun’s funeral, Seongwoo felt nothing but relieved. He knew he was being a jerk, but a jerk he would be if that mean his Minhyun is alive.

Saying that Minhyun was devastated is an understatement. He literally almost went crazy with Jonghyun’s death and his baby laid weak in ICU, legs shattered. Jinyoung was one year old. There was a malfunction on the baby seat, the belt went loose and Jinyoung was stuck between the heavy seat and crumbling doors. Seongwoo watched as everyday Minhyun gets stuck beside Jinyoung’s bed with a sorrowful look. Every time someone tried to pry him away he would scream like crazy. Seongwoo was never close to Jinyoung before, but he couldn’t stand to see Minhyun hurt. So again, Seongwoo prayed earnestly for the little boy.

The day he woke up was the first time Seongwoo saw Minhyun’s smiling face after a month of agony, but that’s not what surprise him. Jinyoung woke up with the softest _“Da!”_ and a radiating smile on his face, unaware of his pain and condition. Seongwoo swore it was the next prettiest thing he saw beside Minhyun’s laugh.

_There he fell in love for the second time._

—

When people talk about Ong Seongwoo, they will describe him as an utterly cheerful and funny person. Hardly anyone has ever see him getting angry. So, when Seongwoo stomps into office with a loud bang, the rest of Wanna One crew can’t help but being curious. Finding the source of his anger, he quickly goes to Minhyun’s desk and slams his fist loudly. If Minhyun is nearly as shock as Jisung who already holds his poor chest dearly, the taller definitely doesn’t show it.

“You are serious with your nonsense, don’t you?” asks Seongwoo furiously.

“I don’t know what are you talking about,” answers Minhyun not sparing a glance at Seongwoo.

“Why do you leave early without telling me?”

“I don’t have to inform you of my schedule,”

Seongwoo inhales a lot of breath as he is trying to find patience, “But we always leave together, it’s hard for Jinyoung to ride on bus,”

“Jinyoung is my son and if I don’t have a car he has to get used to public transportation. You won’t be around forever you know,” points the oldest carelessly. Sometimes Seongwoo forgets how capable Minhyun is in hurting him.

“So, this is how you’re going to play it. You’re not letting me meet Jinyoung now?” Shouts him losing patience. “And it’s all because of Jonghyun? That dead person Kim Jonghyun?!” He soon finds cold hand slaps his cheek hard.

Seongwoo knows he is already out of line, but he already put up with this Jonghyun excuse for so long. Heck, he isn’t even a patient person _but.. 12 years_ for God sake, how much longer does Minhyun think he can hold?

In the end Seongwoo leaves angrily, because all he wants to do right there is to furiously shake Minhyun to get grip of himself, to realize that Jonghyun is no longer between them. Sadly a little part of himself still doesn’t want to hurt Minhyun. Fucking Hwang Minhyun can control Seongwoo without him even knowing.

 

“Is this a newlywed quarrel?” whispers Woojin as the rest of Wanna One has gathered around to watch the fight from the side.

“I think there’s more than that,” sighs Jisung, “I’ll go get Seongwoo. I expect one of you can handle Minhyun?” he leaves without anyone answering to the question.

Sungwoon wasn’t in the office, so again it is only Woojin, Jihoon, and Jaehwan. The 3 of them exchange an awkward look before Jaehwan steps up to ask Minhyun what happen.

“Well.. you know Seongwoo hyung really loves Jinyoung, right Hyung? Like really really love him,” starts Jihoon nervously after they hear the story from Minhyun.

“To cut it short Hyung, you are a selfish dumbass,” cuts Jaehwan.  

Minhyun looks at him hurtfully.

“Well, Jinyoung was one year old when Jonghyun hyung left him. Of course he doesn’t remember him! Naturally the kid will try to find another presence to fill the gap and you have Seongwoo hyung ever so willingly steps up for the role, yet you accuse him of what? Stealing? When all he is trying to do is to protect you both. What will you call that act of yours” finishes Jaehwan sharply.

“See! You guys don’t understand! You and Seongwoo and and all of you! You all have a family!” Minhyun explains desperately.

“What are we if not your family hyung!” chirps Woojin with hurts apparent on his voice.

Minhyun feels guilty. It is true despite growing up without a parent and lack of care from his guardian, Minhyun has find comfort in his Wanna One crew. They have been together with him since his college day and have helped him through the worst and best time of his life. ‘But Jonghyun is first’ whisper an insistent voice in his heart.

They had met in high school when Minhyun who was the top of his class had to tutor Jonghyun. Apparently it was not stupidity that cause him to lack behind in classes, it was his part time jobs. Minhyun loses count on how many jobs the guy had. Even with that many jobs, most of his money will go for his ‘brothers’ at the orphanage. Minhyun thought it was stupid, but he enjoys the care that Jonghyun gives for him. It was sappy, however Jonghyun was the first person who care whether Minhyun had had his lunch or not. Jonghyun was the first to care for him at all.

“But you all have family _before_ and Jonghyun is all I had,” answers Minhyun softly. Tears had started to blur his vision, “You guys don’t understand, you won’t understand,” with that he leaves.

—

“Dad,” starts Jinyoung softly as if he already knows that his dad has a lot on his mind already, “can i go to Seongwoo Samchon’s?” asks him nervously.

Minhyun’s hand that was carelessly stroking the kid’s hair stops abruptly. It’s been a week since their office fight and Minhyun hasn’t seen Seongwoo since. He works from his home and locks his doors with chain lock (which he never uses before) to keep Seongwoo from coming.

He has tried to knock, but Minhyun won’t open the door and Seongwoo knows better to not cause a scene in the residence area. On first few days Minhyun can receive up to 100 missed calls and message from him, both in angry and sad tones, but lately the familiar name barely appears. Minhyun assures himself that it works on his favor and ignores the pang in his heart every time he checks his phone to find lots of worry message from his friends but none from him.

“Why would you do that? It is already late,” answers him softly.

“But we haven’t seen in him in ages,” whines Jinyoung.

It irritates Minhyun how not seeing Seongwoo in a week has this effect on his family, on _him_ , “It’s late and what did I say about bothering other people,” replies Minhyun sternly.

“But it’s Seongwoo samchon, it’s not other people,” argues Jinyoung who has hardly ever talk back to Minhyun or give him any nuisance.

“JINYOUNG! I won’t repeat it twice,” Minhyun almost never raises his voice to Jinyoung. The kid flinches and cowers as immediate as Minhyun regrets his words. He is about to find some softer excuses but his son already retreats to his room quietly.

The ringing doorbell keeps him from following his son. Seongwoo thinks him immediately, but later he finds out that it’s Daniel who just got back from their branch in China. The uneasy feelings he has is certainly not because the missing of a certain black haired man on his surveillance camera

Reluctantly he opens the doors for the younger. Daniel must have heard the situation from the others, if not Seongwoo himself. Like the others, he might have try to come and talk some senses into your thick skull just like what Jaehwan has phrased it. It doesn’t work of course, because they don’t understand. They would never understand.

Minhyun is beyond surprise to see Seongwoo behind the door instead. Before he has a chance to close the door, Seongwoo has slammed the door with his body to keep it open eliciting a loud bang from the move. For the many years that he has known him, the younger is never one to use force.

Force reminds Minhyun with a lot of things from his childhood. Bangs from doors that were shut when he asked for some comfort after a nightmare. Bangs from plates that were smashed if he ate too slow. Bangs from the piano if he played it too noisy or when his guardian is not in the mood. He has spent his childhood cowers to lots of bangs, but not this.

“We need to talk,” says Seongwoo sternly.

“Well I don’t,” answers Minhyun in his futile effort to close the door. He ends up leaving it ajar. Giving Seongwoo and the damn traitor Daniel a full access to his house.

 

“I’ve tried Minhyun. I’ve tried to see your points. To look at this from your point of view, to give you time to cool down and think. You know it in you that i never want to take Jinyoung from Jonghyun. Heck! I never want to compete with Jonghyun in the first place,” rants Seongwoo while following Minhyun to the living room.

He has rehearsed the words several time, trying to rephrase it so many times to make sure he can deliver his points (and hearts’ content) clearly. Jisung said Minhyun is not ready yet, but Seongwoo doesn’t care anymore. He almost drives himself crazy in holding back. He misses Jinyoung, misses their schedule, their life, he even misses Minhyun even though the man has only irritated or hurt him in the past couple of days. Jaehwan said that he is stupid for holding on, probably he is, but how can he not when Minhyun and Jinyoung are pretty much the oxygen that he breaths.

“But you did anyway. You steal him away from his appa!” mutters Minhyun.

“How can it be called stealing when there is no one who hold the place,” replies Seongwoo in a hush, tired voice.

He immediately feels a jab on his shoulder, “Don’t you dare talk like that to Jonghyun! He is alive, so much alive!” shouts Minhyun as he loses all control.

“In our, your, heart Minhyun. I know he’ll always be there and it’s completely okay. But please move on, for your sake, for Jinyoung’s sake, for our sake...,” Seongwoo grabs onto Minhyun sides desperately.

When it comes down to this, he knows that somehow he is at fault for letting the older dwells in his denial after so long. He didn’t do anything even though he realizes that Minhyun has never accept Jonghyun’s death. Seongwoo could have taken courage sooner, to profess his love, tell Minhyun to move on, but instead Seongwoo, being a coward that he always is, lets Minhyun live in the past for so long.

Tears now have fallen uncontrollably on Minhyun’s face. He hits Seongwoo’s chest weakly, “out Seongwoo,” when Seongwoo doesn’t budge, he hits him harder repeatedly, “CAN YOU JUST PLEASE GO OUT, OUT, OU..”

“Stop daddy please, stop! Don’t hurt Samchon,” suddenly they find Jinyoung’s between them tugging furiously at their pants with tears visible on his eyes.

All the adults are startled for awhile until Seongwoo regains his composure. He squats in front of Jinyoung and slowly wipes the tears on his small face, “Daddy is not hurting Samchon, Jinyoung-ah. We’re just.. talking. Why don’t you play with Daniel Samchon first?” Seongwoo tells him with a hoarse voice, trying to hold back his own tears.

 

Jinyoung replies him with a tight hug, “I don’t want! I don’t want! I want Samchon,” Jinyoung’s sobs are now muffled on Seongwoo’s shirt.

It is really a heartbreaking scene with Seongwoo and Jinyoung are hugging like their life depend on it. It has taken all of Minhyun’s will power to not wrap his arms around both boys he loves so much. What if he just accepts everything as it is?

_“I am okay Minhyun-ah. I really am. Whoever you’ll end up with, if you are happy, i will too” a fragment of memory floods his mind again._

_‘But why do you have that look on you Jju-ya? How would I live knowing I have made you look that way?_ ’

“Jinyoung you need to go with Daniel Samchon for awhile, okay?” If Minhyun doesn’t already feel like a jerk just now, he certainly does now. Jinyoung looks at him with sadness pooling in his eyes as if Minhyun has killed a part of him. Nothing really prepares the young dad for what coming next.

“I hate you Daddy!” whispers the kid slowly, so slowly before he loses his consciousness.

—

Everything is blur to Minhyun after that. The ever reliable Seongwoo suddenly had become as incapacitated as he is. The younger can only watch in fear as the boy suddenly lies limp in his hold. Minhyun didn’t remember whether it’s Seongwoo or him who had spew a litany of Jinyoung’s name, probably it was both of them. If it’s not for Daniel, they might not make it in time to the hospital.

“We have stabilized him for now, but i’ll say it is better to keep him here tonight. He might look okay but remember he has his accident record. His heart is not as strong as children in his age. I would suggest not to let him stress out like this again,” the doctor is letting them to see Jinyoung only after forcing them to hear his explanation.

Minhyun had seen his baby lying helplessly, connected to various tubes and injections. Then, he had vowed to never let the kid ever be in the same position again. Yet he has failed. Though not as many as before, he has to see his baby lying with tubes again.

_Stress._ Minhyun should have notice it sooner. How can he be so careless with his kid. How long has it been? Jinyoung was like an open book to him, even when the kid pretended that he wasn’t sick so that Minhyun wouldn’t worry too much, he can always catch the lie quickly. So how can he miss it this time?

“It’s not your fault,” says Seongwoo faintly while patting Minhyun’s slumped figures.

Minhyun knows that Seongwoo is as crushed as he is now. He saw the grimaces on his face when he saw Jinyoung on the bed. No matter how much Minhyun denies it on the outside, deep down he acknowledges that Seongwoo is pretty much Jinyoung’s other dad. The concern in his eyes whenever Jinyoung is in trouble is similar with Minhyun’s, while his happiness when Jinyoung laughs is the kind that Minhyun is well aware of. The love and adoration he has for the little boy is too obvious for plain eyes and Minhyun knows it is well reciprocated by the kid.

_‘Who are you trying to bullshit Minhyun-ah’_ In the end Minhyun has to admit that it is his own selfishness that has caused pain to both his baby and best friend. He keeps inflicting pain to the people he loves the most just like what he did years ago.

As the realization hits, Minhyun finally lets out the tears that he doesn’t realize he’s holding. The frustration that has pent up for the passing week. The longing, the withdrawal, all of it flow uncontrollably.

When Minhyun feels a pair of arms that he knows too well try to engulf him, he doesn’t bother to resist its warm. He gives in and soaks himself in the comfort it always manages to bring.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk,” whispers him in between sobs.

One sentence is all it takes to tear down all the frustration and anger that Seongwoo has for the taller man. He is always that weak for a certain Hwang Minhyun.

—

When Jinyoung opens his eyes on the next day, he is greeted with the sight of his daddy and samchon fall asleep together on the couch next to his bed. His dad has fallen asleep on Samchon’s shoulder while his Samchon has an arm wraps protectively around his dad’s waist. It is such a sight for little Jinyoung that he has to rub his eyes several times.

A pinch on his cheek wakes him up from his daze, “Does this help to tell you that it’s real?” asks Daniel Samchon playfully.

“They are not fighting anymore?” though his dad and samchon’s position has certainly answered the question, Jinyoung still needs reassurance.

“With the help of a certain angel of course,” answers Daniel while tapping his finger on Jinyoung’s nose.

“Though this samchon prefer to have other methods next time, Jinyoung-ah. You have given us all a heart attack,” Jisung samchon appears behind Daniel, “If this kind of things happen again, you can actually share your feeling with us too, okay? Oh my god, I swear you act more mature than Woojin or Daniel sometimes,” Jisung finishes with Daniel’s whines.

Jinyoung finally realizes the state of his hospital room. All of his treasured samchon-deul are there. Jihoon and Woojin samchon are sleeping on the other couch, followed by Sungwoon and Jaehwan samchon who opt to sleep side by side while sitting on the floor. He lets out his shining grin and promises his samchon that he wont make them worry like this again.

—

 

“But I want both of you to tuck me in,” whines Jinyoung stubbornly.

It is his first day back home. The doctor forces him to stay 2 more nights to monitor his condition. Though the samchons are rotating the watch shift, it is mainly Minhyun and Seongwoo who watch after him. Now after dropping them in the apartment, Seongwoo is telling them that he’ll go to the office to finish up some works. Jinyoung can see the exhaustion in his samchon’s figure. Knowing that he is the cause of that exhaustion, he can’t let his samchon work today. He needs to rest. Together with his dad whose condition is in no better shape than his samchon.

Seongwoo throws a questioning look to Minhyun who just nods. Minhyun has seen the exhaustion as well. So much that he understands the amount of works that Seongwoo must need to catch up on, he himself has that responsibilities as well, Minhyun worries about his health. Seongwoo isn’t known as the healthiest amongst them and his tendency to neglects all the supplements that Minhyun has prepared isn’t helping. Secretly Minhyun wishes that the younger will cave in to his exhaustion and manage to get some rest while tucking Jinyoung (which is not a rare case, really).

So they find themselves lies on both sides of a demanding kid in no time. The said kid has chosen a Winnie the Pooh book and ask Minhyun to read it for him. The young dad has only reaches page 5 when he hears two steady breathing beside him. Somehow Jinyoung and Seongwoo have curled themselves toward him and slipped into the dreamland.

It is not the first time that Minhyun is presented with such an intoxicating sight of two peaceful figures before him. The amount of ease Minhyun perceives from the sight has scared him so.

He sweeps the bang that has fallen on Seongwoo’s eyes and feels the younger leans on his palm searching for its warm. Slowly his hands find its rhythm. One of his hand caresses Seongwoo’s hair, while the other pats Jinyoung’s back. Warms sensation floods through his body, calming him likes a drug that keeps him addicted. He realizes soon he will need a more frequent dose of it and in the end it will awaken the feeling that he has long buried deep within. The feeling that has already threatened to emerge more often recently.

As Minhyun feels his heart burns and eyes starts to sting, he quietly slips out to the living room. He finds Jonghyun’s photos and sits while caressing it lightly.

 

_“I am okay Minhyun-ah. I really am. Whoever you’ll end up with, if you are happy, i will too” an image of Jonghyun holding both of his hands in his college apartment comes back to his mind._

_Minhyun shifted awkwardly on his seat. He had recently realized that his feelings for Ong Seongwoo was more than the best friend title that they had put up with. It took no genius to guess that Seongwoo reciprocated the feeling as well. Instead of happiness, all he could think of was his current boyfriend who has also been his great confidant._

_After his parent had passed away during junior high, Minhyun was left under his relatives’ protection who wanted nothing of him but everything of his parent’s wealth. They didn’t really abuse him, but he had to deal with ignorance and cold demeanor all his life until he met Jonghyun. The boy taught Minhyun of happiness — a world filled with sunshine and rainbows. With him, Minhyun’s life had so much meaning because he knew that there’s someone who actually cared for him._

_Probably it was greediness as he had learnt what happiness is. Probably he had realized all along but he was just too afraid to leave the comfort that he had. Along the way he understood that the feeling he has for the other boy is what people called brotherly love.Jonghyun didn’t make his palm sweat when he talked to him, nor did he wake butterflies in his stomach with a mere touch. All of those feelings were aroused by no other than Ong Seongwoo, his proclaimed best friend._

_Though the newfound feelings excited him so, he couldn’t shake the guilt he felt toward Jonghyun. After all it was Jonghyun who brings him out from his shell._

_“I don’t understand what you’re talking about Jju-ah,” replied him weakly diverting his eyes from Jonghyun’s stern gaze._

_“Minhyun look at me,” commanded Jonghyun softly while searching for his boyfriend’s eyes. Only when their gaze had locked he continued, “I’m telling you to go to Ong Seongwoo,”_

_Minhyun tried, he really tried to feel relieved. He knew it wasn’t fair to hold both boys at bay for him. He had to make a choice and in a way Jonghyun helped him to decide. But In the end he really couldn’t, especially with the defeated look Jonghyun wore while he gave his permission._

_‘But why do you have that look on you Jju-ya? How would I live knowing I have made you look that way?’_

_“I’ve chosen you though,” answered him stubbornly. Though it went so fast, the flash of happiness dancing on Jonghyun’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Minhyun. He could live with that he thought. Knowing that he would bring happiness to the one who taught him of one was worth the compensation. He had lived just fine with only Jonghyun by his side, why couldn’t it continue to be that way?_

_From that day, Minhyun chose to avoid Seongwoo. It was a cowardice act of him as he didn’t have the guts to end whatever relationship they had properly. He completely aware of how his act had affect Seongwoo. While Minhyun managed to maintain a happy facade, worry and guilt for the man had eaten him inside._

_He often followed Seongwoo when he went to the place they frequented and cried together with him from the shadow. He made sure to leave foods in front of Seongwoo’s house though he often forgot his. All of these he did so secretly that everyone failed to notice — everyone but Jonghyun. The boy realized how Minhyun hid his weight loss in the oversized sweater that he always wore. How Minhyun’s laugh became more forced each day. How Minhyun suddenly had a concealer when the other was not one who was fussy with appearance._

_“We need to stop this, Minhyun. This isn’t what I had in mind when you said you have chosen me,” said Jonghyun after hearing another Minhyun’s force laugh and failed attempt at joke._

_Again, the taller felt like a deer in a spotlight. He knew he thought that he could live without Seongwoo, but apparently he couldn’t. On the other hand, he couldn’t live knowing that he had hurt Jonghyun. The situation had become so complicated and he ended up hurting both people he loved the most._

_If he could, Minhyun would blame it on the fatigue after days of not eating and sleeping properly, but really it was the only solution that he could think of at the time, “Marry me Jonghyun. Let’s get married! I can’t promise you that I won’t be friend with Seongwoo anymore, but you’ll be my home. No matter how far I go, you’ll be the one I return to. I can promise you that,”_

 

“I don’t think I can keep my promise any longer,” whispers him softly to the smiling Jonghyun in the picture, “I love him so much, Jju-ah. I am sorry. Sorry Jju-ah,” Minhyun keeps apologizing with tears running down furiously on his face. He curls on the sofa while holding Jonghyun’s picture, trace of tears visible on his cheek.

That is how Seongwoo finds Minhyun later. The older looks so small crumpled in the sofa as if the world has beaten him up. Quietly he goes to sit on the edge of sofa, drowning the sight of Minhyun in front of him. The man that he loves so much yet whose love is never his to begin with. A tear or two has slipped by on his sleep which Seongwoo caress forlornly. ‘I never wish for you to be hurt like this Minhyunnie’

—

“I have to stay in China for the time being,” announces Seongwoo on their breakfast session in the next morning.

It will be funny in other situation. Jinyoung’s eyes are almost popped out from its socket and Minhyun’s spoon stops halfway from his mouth. Forcefully he lets out a chuckle, “What’s with the expression? I am not going to war or something,”

“You’ll go to China like Daniel Samchon did?” asks Jinyoung which earns him a nods from Seongwoo.

“Is there any problem with China? I thought Daniel has handled it well,” Minhyun says as he has woken up from his daze. Though they are already on talking terms, but Seongwoo can certainly feel the awkwardness around them after the fight. They have never been awkward with each other before, Seongwoo feels like Minhyun is forced to interact with him for Jinyoung’s sake.

“It’s nothing big, but someone has to be there. Understandably Daniel has been complaining of the lack of time he spent in Korea with Jisung and I really can’t ask the newlyweds Sungwoon, especially when their baby is coming soon. Jaehwan will kill me,” the thought of Jaehwan yelling on his ears is enough to give him shudder, “Guess I am the only one with no strings attached,” Seongwoo plays with his fork, a habit when he is nervous.

Minhyun realizes that this China thing is Seongwoo way to avoid him. True that their China branch has expanded rapidly, but all of important fundamentals have been placed and it will run just fine without anyone supervising it closely. Minhyun wants to beg Seongwoo to stay, but he is done giving in to his selfishness. Seongwoo needs to find his life outside of Minhyun. The image of Seongwoo holding hand with other man flashes on  his mind and he immediately loses all appetite he has left. After the things he did to the younger, Minhyun deserves this.

“When will you leave?” the question leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

—

_3 months later_

Sungwoon and Jaehwan visit Minhyun and Jinyoung with their toddler, Daehwi. After their marriage, the couple has immediately filled in for adoption. They are initially looking to adopt a baby, but Jaehwan falls in love with 3 years old Daehwi instead.

3 months into parenthood and Minhyun wonders whether Daehwi will be okay, “Jaehwan you cannot just feed him ice cream for dinner,” shrieks Minhyun in horror.

“But Daehwi likes ice cream,” Minhyun is faced with two dejected look from Jaehwan and his baby.

“After dinner, he can have it after,” sighs Minhyun defeatedly. On the background he can hear Sungwoon’s signature laugh and the older mutters something like “Double Jaehwan is best”

Meanwhile Jinyoung can’t stoop coo-ing on the new baby. Practically everything he does makes him giggle furiously. Minhyun won’t be surprised if his place as Jinyoung’s favorite person will be taken away soon.

“Daddy what is love?” asks Jinyoung suddenly while eyeing Daehwi.

The adults are exchanging glances while holding their smile. Minhyun’s eyes softens as he ruffles his son’s hair, “Love is when you care so much about a person that you are content just by staying by his side and knowing that he is happy,” He notices how Sungwoon and Jaehwan exchange a knowing look after hearing his description of love.

“That seems hard,” Jinyoung mutters darkly.

“No one says it’s easy kiddo,” grins Sungwoon.

The little kid seems to have lost in his thoughts for awhile before he triumphantly says, “I have decided! I am going to love Daehwi,” the declaration erupts laughter from the adult.

“I don’t think I’ll have to fend Daehwi from his fans this early,” says Sungwoon in between his laugh.

When the kids are busy playing together, Jaehwan sneaks behind Minhyun while the older is busy tidying up his dining room. Placing his chin on the older’s shoulder, he asks mischievously, “You know hyung. Your description of love... it accurately describes a stupid friend of mine,”

The conversation certainly has stirred Sungwoon’s interest as he has come closer to the pair as well.

Looking both friends in their eyes Minhyun replies gently, “Well he is the one who teaches me of love,” despite the confidence, Minhyun’s ears have turns red by now.

“You finally realize that you’re in love with him?” It is more of an accusation from Sungwoon.

“I always know I am,” utters him so very quitely until Sungwoon and Jaehwan need some time to confirm their hearing.

—

Minhyun doesn’t expect to find Sungwoon back in his house later that night. The older guy just got back from his house an hour ago. It is already midnight and Jinyoung has fallen to bed.

“Did you leave something, hyung?” ask Minhyun when he opens the door for him.

“I need to give you something,” Sungwoon’s stern voice is stopping Minhyun to ask further question. Serious Sungwoon usually means something bad.

They have now seated back in Minhyun’s living room. The younger of the two feels himself fidgeting under Sungwoon careful eyes. The shorter man can be intimidating at times and Minhyun still frantically searches for reasons that might have trigger the appearance of this Sungwoon.

“You’re making me nervous, hyung. What happen?” starts Minhyun as the older seems like he’s not going to start a conversation anytime soon.

“I don’t know whether this will be a good idea but Jonghyun.. he told me to give you this letter when you finally admitted your feelings for Seongwoo,” he puts out a crumpled white envelope on the table.

_Sungwoon has always been fond of Minhyun. If he were to be honest Minhyun was, is, his most favorite dongsaeng. For the older, it is really no brainer job to figure out the blunt affection Minhyun has for Seongwoo. The younger was never good with acting in the first place. Despite his nosy nature, Sungwoon knew his place to not meddle in the already complicated relationship._

_However, the situation had gotten out of control. As Minhyun drove himself further away from Seongwoo, their group of friends had decided to take pity on Seongwoo and blamed Minhyun for it. They failed to notice though how the taller man had become visibly dreadful as well. Every time Sungwoon met him, Minhyun only got paler and thinner. He still had the laughter of course, but it no longer sounded sweet as it used to be. The frustration for this situation had driven Sungwoon to corner Jonghyun._

_“If you really love him, you have to let him go Jonghyun-ah,” Jonghyun had looked defeated as well. The man was always more observant than Sungwoon is, so he should already know what was going on without Sungwoon had to outline all details for him._

_“I did, hyung. Trust me I did. He said he has chosen me though,” he let out a hollow laugh that had pained Sungwoon. Then he realized that Jonghyun must had suffered too._

_They talked a bit more before Jonghyun promised Sungwoon that he will have another talk with Minhyun._

_The next news Sungwoon had heard from the couple was of their engagement. It certainly was not what he had talked about with Jonghyun for hours. He wanted to confront the man; to ask him what the hell is going through his mind but when he found him, Jonghyun was with Minhyun. The man had this radiant smile while holding Minhyun’s hand in his. Suddenly Sungwoon could hear the hollow laugh again and he felt like a jerk for almost taking that kind of smile from Jonghyun’s face. So he let them be._

_Things were pretty normal until it was a day before Jonghyun and Minhyun’s marriage. Jonghyun came to him looking so lost and miserable._

_“I never intended to go this far, Hyung,” he sobbed, “I gave in to my selfishness and now I can’t go back. I can’t let him go,” Sungwoon let the younger cried on his arms while wondering what will happen if he had stopped him before it’s all too late._

_After he deemed the younger stabile enough Sungwoon asked, “Are you sure you still want to do it?”_

_“I love him, Hyung and he said he loves me. I have decided to trust whatever coming from Minhyun’s mouth. But later if he.. if he..,” Jonghyun kept stumbling on his words. Though Sungwoon had pretty much known what the younger had meant, he kept his silence to encourage Jonghyun to continue, “If he finally admit that he is in love with other man.. I will go,” he finished the last part quietly._

_It took awhile for Jonghyun to regain his composure back. Sungwoon who had never ran out of things to say had found himself in silence. He felt like he was at wrong too for letting things end up this way. In the end everyone involved was hurting._

_After finding his steadiness back Jonghyun continued, “Should that moment come, I need your help to give this to Minhyun and reminds him that…_

 

“Whoever you end up with, Jonghyun will be happy as long that you are,” says Sungwoon softly to the sobbing mess in front of him. He hugs the younger man and let him cry to his heart content.

—

_To: My Love Minhyun-ah_

_If you are reading this that mean you have finally admitted your feeling to Seongwoo._

_Since the first time you talked about him, I have known that he is going to own your heart._

_How I wish that I can be the one who brings that much excitement in your life._

_How I wish you would talk about me like you did about him._

_Or how you would one day look at me the way you look at him._

_I know it was futile, but I keep holding on to you._

_I desperately want to be your home when I know your heart has taken refuge somewhere else._

_I kept saying that I only want to make you happy when I fully realize that I am the one blocking your flowery path._

_I am sorry Minhyun-ah._

_I am sorry for clinging on while I should have let you go._

_I hope that now you are not lost anymore and with him, you will only walk in the blossoming path ahead._

_p.s: I love you_

_From: Jonghyun_

—

By now Minhyun has memorized each lines on the letter. He had wept like crazy the first time he read it. He keeps re-reading it until he realizes that they all have been a fool after all. The three of them think that they are sacrificing themselves for what is best for the other, but it was just a cowardice excuse for they are all to afraid to fight for their own happiness. In the end it only hurts them more.

 

To: Ongcheongie

I miss you.

_delivered. 02:33am_

 

p.s: I love you

_delivered. 03:12am_

—

Minhyun’s mind is in a wreck. He can only blame Ong Seongwoo for this. It has been 16 hours and 12 minutes since Minhyun sent the text. The status clearly indicates that the younger had read it, but the reply that Minhyun expects never come.

Another image of Seongwoo holding another man comes to his mind and he shudders at the thought. Seongwoo didn’t mention anything about being in a relationship during their last video call session. Then again, why would he mentioned things about relationship in front Jinyoung, as the kid was also present during the call? Minhyun’s state of mind is pretty much in chaos. He keeps thinking back and forth between the possibility that Seongwoo had fallen asleep (for 16 hours straight) or whether he had moved on from Minhyun.

He shouldn’t have let Jinyoung go to Jaehwan’s earlier. Minhyun needs a big distraction. He is trying to decide between sorting out trashes or doing laundry when he hears his doorbell rings. When he opens the door he certainly doesn’t expect Ong Seongwoo to be standing in front of him.

Seeing the object of his frustration up close makes his head even fuzzier. What has China done to Seongwoo? The man looks even more dazzling than before in his rolled up white shirt and blazer hanging carelessly on his shoulder.

“I need to hear it from you,” utters him after recognizing the puzzled look on Minhyun’s face. The older’s blush has started from the tip of his ear down to his beautiful neck. Seongwoo can never get bored of the cute mess in front of him.

“You don’t even reply,” Minhyun breaks their eye contact and fidgets with the hem of his sweater instead.

Seongwoo has never felt this excited lately. He moves forward until he has trapped the taller on the wall behind him, “Because I need to hear it from your mouth,” he repeats softly, “If it’s a drunk text Minhyun, I’d swear I’ll make you drunk this instant to have you say those words directly to me,” it is an empty threat and the way Minhyun squirms has tell Seongwoo that it wasn’t a mere drunk text.

Of course it isn’t! For the span of time that he had known him, Minhyun was never a drunker anyway. When the guys manage to get him drunk on several occasion, Minhyun tends to quickly pass out. The moment Seongwoo reads it he was 90% sure that the text has meant what it meant. (The 10% uncertainty comes from the probability that Jaehwan or Jihoon might have pranked him by rubbing salt on his wound; deeply he knows that the two shouldn’t be that evil — but well it’s a safety precaution, after all he never can guess what’s going on in, especially, Jaehwan’s head)

Gently he places his hand on the taller’s warm cheek, “I’m waiting Minhyunnie~,” teases him before claiming the older’s mouth. He had waited for 12 years and Minhyun tastes even better than what he has imagine.

“I miss you..,” whispers Minhyun while tracing Seongwoo’s face with his thumb as if he wants to remember each detail perfectly.

Seongwoo closes his eyes, letting the words and weight of his thumbs get absorbed in his mind, “I believe there’s other thing too,” urges him urgently.

This time it is Minhyun who shorten the distance between them and stops when they are only inches apart, “I love you,”

Seongwoo swears he never heard anything more beautiful than Minhyun’s voice at the time. He has been receiving confession from many people be it man or woman, but none of that can be compared to the sweet voice of Minhyun’s. _’So sweet like honey’_ he thought while claiming back the other’s lips whom finally he can called his.

—

“Yah Bae Jinyoung! You only care about Daehwi nowadays, this papa is sad. Not even a kiss goobye?,” It’s Daehwi first day as a high school student and Jinyoung had been rushing his breakfast so that he can pick up the younger boy.

“Ask Daddy, Papa!” shouts his kid from the front door followed by a rushed ‘I love you both’ and loud bang.

Seongwoo sighs dejectedly to his breakfast. He swears Jinyoung has grown up too fast. He misses the kid who used to cuddle to him before going to school, “Should we have another baby, Minhyun-ah?”

The taller lets out a chuckle after throwing a glance at the pouting figure on his dining table. Their life together has been nothing but wonderful. They still fight sometimes and bicker a lot, but mostly they have loved. As the time passes by, the feeling Minhyun has for the younger only grows deeper. Even now when some gray locks have started to adorn his hair, Minhyun still thinks that Seongwoo is perfect for him, for Jinyoung, for their little family.

Instead of answering, Minhyun kisses the pout on his husband’s face, “Aren’t I enough to keep you occupied?” Whispers him lowly on Seongwoo’s ear.

He notices the familiar smirk decorates the handsome face and feels himself getting pulled closer, “ _Always_ ,”

—

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading..  
> Hope it's not too long and bore you already. 
> 
> This is un-betaed as I don't have any friends in fic writing world anymore (It's really my first fic after sooooo long), so feel free to point out stuff that might bother you. I'll change it if I can. -- it will actually help me haha.. 
> 
> Would love to hear your though  
> And againn... thank youuu soo much for sticking till the end :)


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